Someone Else's Ivy
It would have inspired a minor revolt among them anyway, but it was more like the bean that broke the barista’s back, since she had already caused some anxiety among the staff by changing the schedule around and using a white glove to test whether the merchandise shelves had been dusted properly. When I got back from my vacation, I found this taped to the wall:
Dear Susan,
As a staff we understand the need to change our café in order to better serve the customers and keep business up, but there is one recent change we don’t agree with. Several weeks ago, we were informed that from now on we will play only soft jazz at the Harvard Square location. For several reasons, we oppose this.
We believe this music choice is not targeting the right audience. Harvard Square is frequented by young people, primarily college students. While at your store, most customers are of an older demographic perhaps looking for a sophisticated café, the customers we get are looking for somewhere funky to go with their cool friends. The staff here is made up of people in their twenties and teens; our taste in music is diverse but likely to be in line with that of our target customers. Different styles of music give the Harvard location character. With all the other competitors nearby we need something to distinguish ourselves from them and make people choose us.
We also believe that listening to a variety of music will allow employees to have better interaction with the customers. In the past, when we played music from our own collections, customers happily sang along as they ordered and excitedly asked us what was playing. Music from the ‘80s and ‘90s had some customers saying “this takes me back to when I was sixteen,” and other customers told us how hearing albums while drinking their coffee inspired them to give artists another chance because they had enjoyed the music so much. Listening to music we know and like puts employees in a better mood. We pull into a faster and friendlier rhythm that helps keep the store a happy and interesting place. Though none of us plan on quitting any time, this new policy changes the atmosphere so much that we may leave prematurely at some point with this being a major factor in that decision. The staff here gets along well; we like each other, we like coffee, we like music and we like the café. We want the link that unites us with each other and with customers back. The employees at Harvard Square request that we return to our old music policy.
Thank you for hearing us out.
It was type-written and every one of my employees had signed the letter. When they asked me if I wanted to sign, I said they had done a wonderful job of expressing their concerns, and I didn’t feel comfortable signing anything since I had been away when the policy change took effect. I stood back, steamed some milk, and waited to see what would happen. Two days later we found this hand-written note taped over the kids’ letter:
To Address Concerns in Order:
Your info about my café’s demographic is wrong. The music we play is not geared for you specifically. We are not trying to be “funky.” If that is your impression you are WAY off track. We are QUITE different in our concept compared to our competitors. I’m not worried. Your interaction with customers BETTER BE 100% friendly and professional no matter what the music is. This is below you. Of course anyone can quit for any reason whether I agree or not. Go ahead. Two weeks notice is customary. I did not intend to make this a big deal and am surprised by the big, dramatic, juvenile response. The policy stays.
Susan
The day after that, I had to pick the pieces of Susan’s note up off the ground and tape them back together. James had torn it up. My kids looked like they were going to cry from rage and frustration. And if I heard Kenny G or whoever hit that high note one more time I was going to put my head through our plate-glass window. I called a staff meeting next to the dishwasher. “Why,” I asked, “are you all so mopey? Why hasn’t anyone made new iced coffee or made me a paper-cup crown lately?”
“Because we are pissed off and this sucks and you know it. Fuck this. I think Starbucks pays eight dollars an hour,” was the general consensus among my staff.
“But why?” I asked, “Why are you so pissed off?”
“Because Susan is a fucking bitch.”
“Okay, sure. What makes you think that?”
“Because she’s an ugly bull dyke who is so uptight, I bet she hasn’t been laid in years.”
“Okay, seriously guys. We need to be the better people in this situation. You’re right and she’s wrong, right? So act like it.”
“Because you told us if we acted like people with worth and dignity and expressed our concerns in a mature, well-thought-out way, we could change things we don’t like. You told us if we worked together we could do anything. You told us it was like collective bargaining, and that our lives and our jobs mattered. And it didn’t work.”
“Oh my god.”
“Susan makes us feel like nothing. Why can she talk to us like that? We make money for this company and we can’t talk to her like that.”
“What,” I asked, “are we going to do about this?”
“Fuck-all,” said James.
