A recent article in the Guardian’s Book Blog (I’m addicted) debated whether it’s necessary to date a reader if you yourself are a reader. The writer, clearly also the reader in this scenario, says that reading is not only an intensely personal ritual, but also an incredibly social one. Think about the success of book clubs–most people find they can relate better to what they’ve read if they discuss it with others. This is something I have definitely found true, though my own book club is still in its fledgling days. I love talking about books and writers, getting recommendations and different perspectives from fellow readers. I am incredibly lucky in that I work in a field (publishing) chock full of voracious readers, and many of my friends are also readers (comes with the territory when you attend a graduate program in writing and publishing).

Okay, so if you love to read, you can chat about books around the water cooler, or around a few bottles of wine at a book club. Isn’t that outlet enough? Do we really need our romantic partners to love reading as well?

According to the Guardian, no. The writer says that his wife of eight years has read only one novel during their marriage–and that’s completely fine by him. He weighs the pros and cons of being involved with a passionate reader: pros–you can discuss books and share the unique perspective of literature lovers; that is, an empathy for humanity and a sense of what life might be like in other parts of the world; cons–though readers are most often intelligent and empathetic, they do not always like other people very much, and can often be pretentious, opinionated, and awkward. Touché, sir, touché.

While I believe that your significant other does not need to share your every interest, opinion, and taste (in fact, I think that a bit of dissension is healthy), I also strongly believe that a passion so strong as that of a truly fanatical reader needs to be if not shared, then at least appreciated and understood. That is to say, if your partner doesn’t find waxing poetic about Nabokov riveting, or enjoy debating the ins and outs of literary pretension (Jonathan Safran Foer–genius or over-hyped poster child of pretension? discuss.), take it to the book club. However, if your partner also doesn’t allow for your bookstore browsing habit and overstuffed bookshelves, and can’t at least appreciate and share an intellectual curiosity, then perhaps it’s time to find someone who does. (In the interest of full disclosure, my boyfriend and I both happen to love reading. A LOT. We’re such nerds, in fact, that we sometimes read the same book and then write each other letters about what we thought. We’re long distance nerds, but I think our discussions about books and what we’re reading adds another dimension to our relationship, one that really works).

So where do you stand on the debate? And, in a somewhat related vein–writers dating writers. Good idea, or WORST idea? HTML Giant says WORST idea. Here’s why.

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